Monday, March 31, 2008

Return of the Three Stooges

The three stooges of politics are quickly gearing up for a meeting in Denver this August that just may be as entertaining as any one of the many hilarious comedy shorts starring Curly, Moe and Larry, who also delved into politics (You Nazty Spy! , 1940).

The political comedy troupe of Hillary, Barack and Al are on tour nationwide this year auditioning for the role of president of the United States. The original Three Stooges were actors portraying hapless characters and trying to be funny; the new stooges are hapless actors playing politician and trying to be serious.

Hillary and Moe are both serious, determined personalities that are thwarted in their efforts by hilarious missteps and less-than-competent cohorts. Barack is an appeaser, much like Larry who never appeared eager to start a fight, but always ended up in the middle of one. Gore is simply not gifted enough to be compared to Curly, but he makes a great Shemp, a buffoonish substitute for real talent when no one else is available. No offense intended to Shemp Howard.

Clinton’s Moe-like blunders are legion, health care reform, tales of facing imaginary snipers in Tuzla, using husband Bill (Curly) Clinton to insult voters after primary losses, failing to plan for an extended primary run, choosing loyalty over competence to pick her advisers. Like Moe, Hillary is quick to throw blame and unable to accept the fact that her own actions have landed her in the present predicament. Although her “sleep deprivation” excuse and manufactured tears show that she does indeed have a sense of humor, even if it is unintentional.

Larry Fine had much better hair than Obama, but his actions remind me of Barack. Larry usually tried to avoid conflict, but always got hit in the head by a pipe, hammer, or some other object. Barack just got whacked by his involvement with a radical minister, and his explanations are just are comical as Hillary’s. Obama has constantly stated that he wants to avoid negative politics and is willing to sit down with the leaders of terrorist nations and talk. Barack could learn from Larry, appeasement almost always makes you appear weak and ripe for victimization. Sometimes you have to choose a side and make hard decisions.

Al “Shemp” Gore is probably the most qualified of the three to serve as president. He continues to deny any ambitions for the presidency, and is sitting back enjoying the political blood-letting between Hillary and Obama. But don’t be fooled…Al is the best actor (Academy Award) of the three. His people are busy brokering a deal with the DNC and various super-delegates to position Gore as an alternate candidate at the convention. Much like Shemp, Gore was called on to fill in for a big star. In 2000 Gore was called wooden, robotic, and uninspiring. He was performing in Bill’s shadow, but that was eight years ago and Curly’s star no longer shines so bright.

Denver could easily become Stooge Fest ’08 if the democrats head into the convention without a clear winner or a plan to choose one. Moe won’t give up, Larry wants to be everyone’s friend, and Shemp is waiting in the wings for the whole thing to implode. I can’t wait to see how this comedy ends.

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