Friday, October 12, 2007

More Bad Noose at Columbia U

New York police have been called in to investigate anti-Semitic graffiti found drawn on a Columbia University bathroom stall. The drawing depicted a yarmulke with a swastika hanging above it.

Just how do you investigate bathroom graffiti? Take DNA samples? Interview people who frequent that restroom? Look for individuals who fit the “bathroom stall defiler” profile? Watch for those with toilet paper stuck to their shoe? I know…take toilet seat casts, call in CSI and run it through the FBI database to see if you can get a butt match, that’ll crack the case!!

Isn’t this getting a bit ridiculous? Any thirty-seven year old janitor working on his GED could have told these highly educated Ivy leaguers just how to handle this…get some 409, clean it off and forget about it. All this publicity is only going to result in more incidents such as this one. This is after all a University, inhabited by young people who enjoy such things as binge drinking, frat parties, recreational drug use, and just plain raising hell. Now all anyone has to do to cause a major media event is get creative with a pen in a bathroom stall. What fun!!! Take a few minutes out of your busy day to drive the administration crazy, monopolize NYPD resources, and then laugh it up with your buddies when you see it on the news. You’re an instant celebrity.

The noose incident at Columbia is an event to be taken seriously; connotations of death by lynching are truly chilling. However if they wish to report bathroom artisan’s vile renderings the school will be forced to employ “stall checkers”. These Stallinists would be equipped with rubber gloves, a digital camera, and a can of Lysol. They would be responsible for checking each stall after every use for vandalism, and of course proper flushing. I would suggest using freshmen for his task. People could leave tips upon exiting if so inclined.

The campus does not exist in America where someone looking for offensive material, ESPECIALLY in restrooms cannot find a plethora of evidence (if you want to believe it) that rampant racism, sexism, or religious bigotry has infected your institution. There’s probably some stuff about your mother there too, but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s true.

University president Bollinger must realize that he is helping to create a hyper-sensitive atmosphere at Columbia. An environment where soon, if not already, people are looking for even the slightest transgression in mood, gesture, nuance, statement, clothing, so they can run to the administration and claim to be a victim. “Victim” has become a badge of honor, and Columbia University is doing all it can to advance that dubious status.

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